“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” ~C.S. Lewis
I’m getting ready to say goodbye to one of my closest friends, Katie. Not forever. It’s a farewell to proximity. She’s moving away and out of state and the frequency in which we used to talk and spend time together will be altered completely. No more working on crafty projects together, no more carpooling, no more Barnes & Noble hang-outs, no more crazy face-to-face updates on the extended drama and minutiae of our lives. Hopefully, I’ll be gaining an epic pen pal out of this, but in the meantime, I can’t help but grieve a little at the change in circumstances necessitated by Life.
I’m a pretty friendly person and I suppose generally well-liked, but I have always been extremely choosy about the friendships I’ve acquired in life. Some have caught me by surprise, but most of the ones that are really made to last are that way because I made sure that I had a sense of who that other person was and I knew that that individual was someone I wanted to have in my life because I truly admired or liked who they are deep within. I may have watched their interactions with other people, listened to the things they talked with the most passion about, and waited to see if they held true to what they professed. I’m picky and probably largely cautious by nature. But I’m also intensely loyal and I don’t give that out easily to anyone I happen to meet in the course of a day.
A lot of my friends are creative in one way or another and most, if not all of them, are very intelligent. I’m not prejudiced, but we choose the kind of people we want to be like when we choose our friends. Even if it’s subconscious. There has to be something we admire about one another that draws us into communion. And as most of my friends are currently largely impoverished, I have to draw the (probably flawed) conclusion that money doesn’ t really matter a whole hell of a lot to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to make more (in fact it’s pretty obvious I need to) and I’d love to be well off enough to where I don’t have to worry and think about money, but it’s not a major factor for me. This is just one example.
The people I find lasting in my life are those who have a lot going on inside- in their heads and in their hearts. They care about other people. They have dreams and passions to make some kind of an impact on the world, through art, or family studies, literature, cultural studies, religious studies, psychology or some other form. But these people are part of a very select group, though they may never know it.
Getting back to the origin of my thoughts, I am sad when those I have come to love and care about move away to places that make it difficult to see them face-to-face regularly. Despite all this, I know that the bonds and connections we have made are solid and will last in spite of distance, Life, and change in circumstances.
People change, and sometimes friendships fade, but there are certain people we carry with us always, and with those people, we are never truly very far distant.
So it’s time to break out some of my favorite pens, some trusty stationary, stock up on postage stamps, and keep those tech connections viable. It’s easy to forget about the little things, but communication is key in keeping those enduring friendships alive.
Now I’ll just have to come up with something to say.