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A little while ago, as I browsed through the magazine section of my local Barnes and Noble, I picked up a copy of Gothic Beauty and immersed myself again in one of my favorite magazines. I have to admit it- I love the melodrama. The dark lined eyes, the dramatically colored hair, the fashions and accessories, the fascination with death and poetry. I find it all very engrossing.

I’ve found some really great music by looking into what is termed “Gothic” or “Dark Cabaret.” The Dresden Dolls refer to themselves and their music as “Punk Cabaret.” I’ve been discovering more “Steampunk” music and I find it very diverting, intriguing and imaginative. I think too many times we put aside the whimsical things that life has to offer in favor of a more “grown up” approach. I don’t think it’s necessary and I feel like it kills a lot of the potential for creativity that lies latent in most people.

One of my favorite “Dark Cabaret” artists is Jill Tracy. Her music reminds me of smoky film noir night clubs, rain-slicked streets shimmering from the glow of street lamps, murder mysteries, femme fatales, and doomed romance. It’s fantastic. One of my favorite songs is Evil Night Together. I like the folksy goth music of Voltaire for his playfulness and clever lyrics. But I like all sorts of musical types.

I love old-world things, and the gothic culture makes me think of Edward Gorey, Edgar Allan Poe, quill pens, ink pots, thick paper, candlelight, haunting music, mystery, poetry, life and death, romance, and the vivid interplay of underlying depths. It’s like a sumptuous and elegant dance. There’s always been something intriguing for me in the study of death- what death really means. A lot of poetry explores death as a theme. I think the gothic subculture- if you want to refer to it that way, is unafraid of exploring those themes which tend to make some people uncomfortable or queasy. On the flip side- I’m really not into slasher films or anything that glories in mutilation or murder. I can only stomach so much zombie mayhem and I don’t watch many horror films, unless circumstances are favorable (i.e. good friends, the right mood, and maybe a particular holiday or event). I’m not obsessed with death, but like so many others, I’m curious.

I’ve been thinking about the past a lot lately. Not my own past, but past existence. Past eras and times, styles, and fashions. I’ve been thinking about the days when men always wore hats and suits and when ladies wore gloves and little hats and heeled shoes with dresses or skirts in smart, crisp lines. I’ve been thinking about the 40s and film noir. I’ve been thinking about the 1800s and bustled shirts with corsets. I’ve been thinking about societal changes and the roles of women throughout history. Fashion fascinates me. I have a tumblr account and one of the blogs I follow SpinningBirdKick is very fashion-centric. I think of Oscar Wilde when I think about fashion: “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” And yet it is so very intriguing. More expressionism, I suppose. There’s always a way of expressing who you are or what you want from life- be it by art, music, literature, fashion, your chosen profession, your hobbies, your body modifications or tattoos. It’s interesting to me how many different ways and methods humankind can find to express individuality, preference, or personality.

So, what is this post about? My interests, things I’m intrigued by, a longing for what was and what yet may be… perhaps that’s it.

I’m always looking to find beauty. Sometimes it appears in the oddest places. I want to fill my life with things that inspire and incite me to creativity. I want  a life lived well and filled with marvels.

That’s all I have to contribute for now.

B

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